The Day Off

Did everyone enjoy their day off? I'm sure. I managed to get out of the house. Amy and I went to the Museum of Science. For photographic documentation, look here:I think I must have the strangest nose.We had quite the time, and a particularly interesting commute with all of the snow. I wish there were a small fraction of a chance that school would be cancelled, but Greg would not do such a thing. I ask this small favor out of the interest of my Urban Studies grade. Bellsy and I were not able to meet over the weekend, and now we are in... severe trouble, shall we say.Here is the good news in my life: my father is going to fire Joanne (our nanny). We have not had peace of mind since hiring her. I do not have the time or energy to go into detail as to all of the things she has done to push us over the edge, although here is a recent example: on Friday, my father mentioned to her that we need a new curtain for the window in his bathroom, however, the task is low priority. What did she do? She bought a new curtain, and redecorated the entire bathroom to accomodate -- and it was ugly. Gray accessories with peach tiles... Anyway, my father made her change everything back, and her rebuttal was the following: "well, you're new to this single-father thing, and you didn't know ..." I'm not sure what happened after the ..., but it's generally not a good idea to undermine the credibility of your employer. I am proud to say that she's history, and I will no longer be trapped into 90 minute discussions about all the wonderful things she did to help the people in Venezuela on her trip to Caracas. I was afraid to go into my own living room for weeks.Today was the three-year anniversary... of my mother's illness. Of her diagnosis, I mean. 5 February, 1997. I remember the day so clearly, it haunts me. It was the worst day of my life. The way people treated me... I'm still trying to forgive people. I know my mother would want me to, but it's so difficult.I found e-mails to my friend Arlene last night, from the last week of my mother's life. I'm so glad that I wrote it down, because the entire week is a blur now. It happened so quickly, which I suppose is best. I did not even remember that the night before she fell into a coma she held me for hours, crying. It was the second time I had seen her cry through all of the cancer, and it showed how much she loved me, and cared for me, and was truly going to miss me... I can't even finish any of my sentences today, I'm so discombobulated. I remember the evening now. My mother was not the perfect child I was thought she was. She was judgemental, critical, a bit of a complainer -- rather like myself. ;) However, she trained herself against it. She worked so hard at it, that her brain did not automatically think of insults, it thought of praises. Her brain did not ever think of complaints. She went through close to three years of very difficult chemotherapy, and not once did I hear her complain. She saved complaints for rare circumstances, such as when a mother was being completely irrational on the PTO, and even then her complaint was administered with a great deal of humor. There is hope for me yet! Again, it won't be easy, but if I'm able to do it, it would be well worth my time. It is a trait in my mother that I hold in complete awe and reverence.Maybe that's why I went to the Science Museum today. She loved it there. When she was a kid, her sister told her that she was going to take her there, in order to get my mother out of the house so that they could prepare for a surprise birthday party. My mother got all dressed up -- going to the Museum of Science was a very big deal to her! -- and was consequentially heartbroken when her sister merely drove around the block and brought her back home. I think she still harbored slight bitterness towards her sister, that she did not get to go to the Museum of Science that day. She loved to learn...I know, all of my entries have been about my mother. I could write several novels about her, if I wanted to. Instead, she'll have to settle for a few, poorly constructed LiveJournal entries. I'm sure she'd laugh if she saw how much time I spend writing and thinking about her. ~Jenn